My Mental Blog

I can’t tell you how many times I’ve started writing this blog post in my head. On a walk I wanted to write about the way I look at homes and imagine living in them…gardens, cozy bathrooms, front porch swings. After New Years Day with my family, I wanted to write about how I am officially the shortest of my generation after my 13-year old cousin passed me up and is on his way to 6′-3″. And I wanted to write about how amazing my family is and how much I appreciate their support and excitement for everything I’ve been doing. Then I wanted to write about the long drive I took and how I got out of a speeding ticket. I wanted to write about hanging out with my dad in his shop sanding and painting an old bookshelf, then coming inside to find my mother cussing at the sewing machine at which point I came to her rescue and figured out what was wrong. I imagined writing about all the friends I have seen, and how I’m not seeing them enough, and I still have so many more to see. I was going to write about all the beef I’ve eaten. Burgers, steak, burgers, steak. I can’t seem to get enough of it. After a lunch conversation with my mom, I thought about writing a post on ambition and confidence and how it is going to get me somewhere some day. (I guess it already has, but it will get me farther, mark my word!) This morning I mentally wrote a post about all of my handicraft endeavors: an iPod cover, folded sheet music ornaments, a knitted scarf and kids aprons. After doing all of these handicrafts, I was going to write about how my holiday season seems to be a little out of whack this year. I think I’m on the Christmas-Valentine’s day schedule instead of the Thanksgiving-Christmas one most of the country adheres to. I miss traveling, so I was going to write about the reverse culture shock and seeing home as a destination rather than home. I was going to write about the fact that I am essentially homeless at this point. I was going to write about the number of bologna sandwiches I’ve eaten in the past two weeks…you’d be amazed!! Just now, I thought about a post I could do about the bizarre contrasts in my life. Bologna sandwiches vs. fresh mango from the trees in Hawaii. Growing up with everything new vs. my current infatuation with everything old. My love of being around people vs. my love of being by myself. Oh, and then I was going to write about all of the country music I’ve been listening to, and that I really want to go to the Grand Old Opry.

And then I was going to write about what happens next, but wait. How am I supposed to write about what happens next when I don’t know? I know that Nik gets here in 5 days (every time I think of that I mentally do summersaults of excitement), and that I am going to continue blogging about whatever happens. Where will we be in two weeks? Will we be working? Will I still have a cell phone (by the way, I reactivated my old Portland #, so if you have it and want to call, go ahead)? Will we still qualify for travelers health insurance? I have no idea. It’s not because we haven’t thought of all of this. It’s that there are a few things in the works behind the scenes, but nothing is fully developed.

I promise to keep everyone posted, and thanks for all of the comments and emails. You guys have welcomed me home in a way I never expected. I wish I could sit down with each and every one of you for an hour or two and just chat. So I don’t know what the next few weeks or months will bring, but I know they are going to be great. I’m sure there will be adventures and stunning places, I just don’t know which ones.

Until then…………….